Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Love, Happiness and Marriage

One of my friends is moving to England (the other side of the world) to be with her fiance. On Sunday she had a farewell barbeque. To say goodbye I made her this:

I also wrote her a letter. At the end of the letter I felt like printing myself out a copy so I could remember my own advice (I especially like the last dot point). Some of this I have learnt, much of it I am still learning. I hope that what I wrote will also benefit you. Here is some of it:

...I wanted to share with you some of the things I have learnt about love and marriage. I hope dot points are okay as I should be working on my university assignment right now.
  • Love is precious, like a rare gemstone that must be guarded. 
  • Love is beautiful. 
  • Love is hard work.
  • Love is worth it.
  • When we love we put the other person before ourselves.
  • We don't love the other person so that we will be happy (that is selfish).
  • We love because that is what we choose to do. 
  • We love because we want to make someone else happy. 
  • Happiness is a by-product of choosing to love someone more than we love ourselves.
  • Many people do not understand that love does not always come naturally.
  • When we aren't feeling the love, we need to choose to be loving anyway.
  • Happiness is not the goal of marriage.
  • Learning to love and cherish someone before ourselves is the goal of marriage. 
  • This first blush of romance and happiness does not last. 
  • If you are committed, something better than what you have now will become yours. 
  • The stability and trust and confidence in a solid relationship where there is dedication and commitment is far more satisfying than the exciting whirl of romance. However... 
  • If you have a good, loving relationship, there will always be romance! 
  • Surprise cuddles are wonderful!
  • Sometimes men get grumpy when we give them a surprise cuddle. Timing can be crucial.
  • When you argue (and you will) do not say “you never...” or “you always...”
  • When you argue, make up before you go to sleep.
  • Say "I love you" everyday.  
  • Do not wait for the other person to apologise first, even if they are wrong. 
  • When you go through a hard day or year (or ten), remember what you have: do not throw it away, but hold onto it, because night does not last forever.
  • Do not try to change the other person, change yourself first.
  • Marriage is something that refines your character and teaches you how to love.
  • Learning to love is a never-ending lesson.
  • Always remember and appreciate what you have!
  • You hold the success and happiness of your marriage in your hands.

Have you got anything that you are bursting to add to this list? Share in a comment :)

Kathy xxx