Fibonacci Blogging

This post is a testament to my strangeness.

The other day, while in the shower, I realised that I've been so slack with blogging this year that I've only done one post per month so far. I thought, Hey, that's sort of interesting! I should blog about it! Only, straight away I realised that posting about it would ruin - utterly devastate! - my blogging pattern. BUT THEN!! I remembered the Fibonacci Sequence! You know the one:

0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34... and so on. 

The pattern is formed by adding two numbers together to find the next number (i.e 1+1=2).

Totally worth clicking through to see the whole post this image is from.

Immediately, I'm thinking how cool it would be to blog this year according to this sequence (oh dear... nerdy me is emerging!) and I started adding up numbers to figure out how much I'd have to blog each month. As you've probably realised already , once you get to the ninth month (as I skipped the zero), that starts getting a bit ridiculous! THIRTY-FOUR posts in ONE MONTH? Yeah, that's not gonna happen!

So yeah... normal, sporadic blogging will randomly continue in this part of the world wide web... 

But to make up for that, here's a link to free Fibonacci-inspired patterns (knitting and crochet) (you have be a member of Ravelry to be able to see them).

Also!!!! I've finally uploaded pics of my last couple of knitting/crochet projects so my next post WILL be about that. Full stop.

I'm Smiling Today

I had so many reponses to my last post, many via facebook and ravelry: it turns out people appreciate honesty... who knew? (That was tongue in cheek, just so you know!)

Blogs which are always happy and full of success can actually negatively affect readers' feelings of adequacy - even though they can be inspiring (and I'm not saying there shouldn't be blogs like this). Everyone hates feeling like a failure. 

On the other hand, there's something really encouraging about someone being honest with what they're finding hard, and everyone needs encouragement. 

Even monsters with saggy butts need encouragement.

There's a student in my class at the moment who thinks that he is stupid - that he "can't". So I have to push and push him to try, even resorting to the "it's now or at lunch time outside the principal's office" line because he is so so so so so so so stubborn. But eventually he gives in, and with even more pushing, he eventually does some work. And when he does, I make a MASSIVE deal over it. "You did it! Well done! I am SO proud of you!" And you see him start to glow a little. He does some more work, writing another sentence. More encouragement and praise is given. Now he's engaged and eager to write another sentence that uses a contraction. He's standing straighter and looking happier, because he did it. 

Yeah, he wasn't doing the work the other students were doing, and yeah, he did three sentences instead of the six done by others, but he went from thinking he "couldn't" to knowing that he "could" because he did! And I was (and am) so pleased with him and for him.

And that's one success story from today. Yay! =D

(On a related note, the teaching prac is going well, I'm enjoying it, I'm exhausted, I'm happy, I'm a little braindead at the end of each day, and I'm glad this is my chosen profession.)

Raw like an Onion

My thinking spot is in the shower. This morning I was thinking about the types of things I'd write about on here if I wasn't afraid to let it all hang loose... the things I'd write if this were more of a journal where the only audience I thought about was myself.

I'd write about how tired I am at the moment, how being in a classroom teaching and dealing with student behaviour is so challenging and mentally exhausting. I'd write down how much more valuable my time at home is at the moment, and how wonderful weekends are. I'd make a note of how hard it is to change from a uni lifestyle to that of a primary school teacher (sooooo difficult).

If I wanted to let it all hang out, I'd write about how I still miss my cat. About how nearly four months on I still sometimes think I hear him, and still have that bitter sweep of disappointment when I remember that he's gone. I'd write about how I can still see him perfectly clearly in my mind's eye, and can still recall how it felt to have him snuggled up to my side or curled up on my lap. I'd write about how sometimes remembering him makes tears come to my eyes, and how I wonder if it's okay to still miss him.

I'd write about how I don't understand teen girls. I'd write about how much I struggle to keep calm when I'm getting so frustrated by other people's behaviour. I'd write about how I often take big, big breathes before responding.

I'd write about how messy my house is at the moment and how I don't feel like I have the energy to get it back into shape after being in a classroom all day. I'd write about how I struggle with this so much, and that I struggle with knowing that I can change things if only I was determined enough.

I'd write about how I realised when it was that I put on weight (after failing my prac in 2009), and how I am beginning to really start desiring to lose it and fit back into my gorgeous (expensive) trousers. I'd write about how I feel like I'm not allowed to want to lose the weight I've put on because of the amount of people who have said to me, "Oh, you don't need to loose weight, you're tiny!" I'd write about how I actually do need to lose weight, for my mental wellbeing as much as my physical health.

I'd write about a lot of things. But instead, I present an version of myself that's capable, creative and happy. And I am all these things, but sometimes I am tired. Sometimes I am worn out or frustrated or both. Sometimes I feel a wave of grief, and sometimes I feel like I'm never going to succeed. I know I will succeed in the end, and I know that these harder times will eventually pass, but despite the knowing, the feelings can sometimes be overwhelming.

If I wrote about the real, the struggles, and not just about the good and the accomplishments, what would that mean for this blog - would I lose some of you as readers? Should this even matter to me? I know it would, because I love knowing that what I write is read by others, and to think that it might encourage someone, or make one of you smile - perhaps even laugh.

Grateful

I just read Erin's most recent post, and though I'm not going to join in with Curious Girl's month of gratitude, Erin's post made me think about all I have to be grateful for. Or, to put it another way, it made me think of some of the ways in which I have been blessed.

I have a wonderful husband who loves me and cares for me.

I live in a cute unit in a good location, with a great landlord.

We have lived here for four years, so our rent is well below what others pay due to prices rising drastically during the last couple of years.

I don't need to work, as my husband earns enough money to support both of us.

Even when my husband's job finishes on Christmas Eve (great timing), we will still have enough money to live on - one of the benefits of living in a welfare state.

I have a cute cat with LOADS of personality.

Now that I have finished university for the year, I am free to spend my holidays doing whatever I want. Like writing the first draft of a novel (yes, I have realised that I am slightly insane).

I have my own laptop (which I am typing on right now).

Though I don't need to, I can make enough jams and marmalades to last a year when fruit is cheap or even free.

There are many, many more things I am grateful for, even the opportunity I have to share what I think and do with you, most of you who I have never met.

It has made me think though... I have such an easy life, even when money is tight we've always had enough, and I have so much leisure time. It might be a good life, but is it a blessed life? It makes me think of the Beatitudes, where Jesus teaches huge crowds that those who are mourning, those who are merciful, pure in heart, those who are peacemakers are blessed. Not that those who have time to rest, that have all the food they need and all the stuff they need are blessed.

Just a thought. 

I am grateful that I can think.